nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
