Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
