you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
