Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
