i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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