She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
