this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
