I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
