All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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