Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
