So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize