After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
