my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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