Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
love makes seman taste better
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
