I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
