I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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