home. puking in laundry basket.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
