Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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