he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
