im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
