ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
