IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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