You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
