I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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