i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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