you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
