Your tits are I can't wait for
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
