we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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