It's like God shit irony all over that family
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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