That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
