Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
