So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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