we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we're making bets on your personal life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
