where am i from again
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
