So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
