Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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