By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
