i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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