you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
