i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
