The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i think i scared a bird with my dick
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
These tits shall not be calmed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
