May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize