You really coming over, don't trick.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize