if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
