the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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