Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
