Already got asked if we're dating
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
