Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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