I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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