Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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