we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
