he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We need a shit load of segways right now
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
