Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
