I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
