Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
