i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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