It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
