i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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