also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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