it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Girls should come with a carfax report
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
