Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
