Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just cut my nipple shaving
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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