Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
