Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
